A: So tell me, my friend, do you support the war?
B: Indeed, most enthusiastically. As long as no one gets killed or injured.
A: But that is absurd, friend. How can there be war with no one being killed or injured?
B: You mean to say there has never been a war in which no one was killed or injured?
A: Not that I know of. Which war would that be?
B: The only kind of war I support.
A: Once more--that’s absurd.
B: But war itself is absurd, isn't it?
A: You mean there are no just wars?
B: Naturally. A just war is a war in which no one is killed or injured.
A: I am not following you. Why would you be pro-war if you want no one killed or injured?
B: Because war is absurd, and folks need a degree of absurdity in their lives. It's healthy. Keeps the blood running. It adds excitement, and a sense of the unknown. They say generals die in bed. So I say make everyone a general. Then everyone gets a shot at medals and glory, all the acclaim and admiration, just so long as no one is killed or maimed.
A: And everyone dies in bed?B: Sure. Why not?
A: Well, if you are pro-war you certainly support the troops.
B: No. I don't support the troops.
A: You're pro-war but you don't support the troops? How can you be pro-war and not support the troops that fight it?
B: Because it's just war.
A: You mean because you support just wars, and in just wars no one gets killed and maimed.
B: That's right. Why would they need support? In fact, why have troops? It's just war.
A: Just war?
B: Well, because everyone's a general and no one gets killed or maimed, and they....
A: All die in bed.
B: You got it. Easy as pie.
A: As pie?
B: Just war. Easy as pie.
A: In bed?
B: You got it.
A: I see.